Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

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(386): View more from Florida

I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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(607): View more from New York

then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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(323): View more from California

Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.

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(607): View more from New York

Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing

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(224): View more from Illinois

I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today

(847): View more from Illinois

You're a god amongst men today

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