Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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