Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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