$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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