I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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