God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
