She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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