yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
