Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
