i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
