We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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