No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
