dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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