she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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