she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
