Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
