The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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