You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
