I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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