we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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