Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
