How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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