Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize