in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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