I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
