i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
