so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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