Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i drank out of a bidet.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
