I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
