i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize