well most of my day revolves around power hour
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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