I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The power of my boobs compel you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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