what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
