After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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