At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
