And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize