Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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