Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
