She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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