I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
