Don't you send me to vm
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
