I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
