so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
