Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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