I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
