Porn is love you can see.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
