Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
