Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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