your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
