Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
