So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
