I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
