I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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