Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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