what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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