I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
