Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
