Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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