WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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